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Category: Memoir

Chapter 21 Excerpt: Sometimes You Feel You’re Going Crazy and You Hide at a Spa in the Desert

Chapter 21 Excerpt: Sometimes You Feel You’re Going Crazy and You Hide at a Spa in the Desert

Dear Reader, Now you are caught up. This was the journey of declining standards which led to me dating Mason. Remember him? He’s gone, my curtains are hung, and my wall is repaired. My home is full of fresh paint smell and my mind is full of self-loathing. I’ve just booked an impromptu vacation to a spa he told me about. I’m packing as fast as I can. No planning went into this trip, just a desperate need to hide…

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Chapter 20 Excerpt: Sex Tourette’s and Art Museums that Never End

Chapter 20 Excerpt: Sex Tourette’s and Art Museums that Never End

I am no longer internet dating. I’ve gone too long without sex and I’m having trouble kicking my new high-priced coffee habit. I am now drawn to trendy coffee shops where I am willing to pay ludicrous amounts of money for cheap coffee, as long as it comes in a paper cup. I rolled out of bed and went straight to a coffee shop. The man in front of me turned and offered to let me cut in front of…

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Chapter 19 Excerpt: The Man Who Talked about His Mother’s Naked Body on a Date

Chapter 19 Excerpt: The Man Who Talked about His Mother’s Naked Body on a Date

I drove out to the beach, and sat down in a coffee shop. Carl was a little late. While sitting, a strange man who looked similar to Carl’s pictures walked up to the coffee shop. He smashed his face up against the window and looked inside. He looked directly at me and then looked away. He picked up a discarded newspaper, awkwardly dusted off a patio chair, and sat down. As a result of my previous dating experiences, I thought…

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Chapter 18 Excerpt: Unbalanced People Who Should Be Called Stalkers and the Police Officers Who Scold You for Dating Them

Chapter 18 Excerpt: Unbalanced People Who Should Be Called Stalkers and the Police Officers Who Scold You for Dating Them

Internet dating turned me into a fickle person. I continually changed my mind. I’m not dating, I am dating, I only go on coffee dates, okay I’ll go to dinner. I just couldn’t make up my mind about anything. I hadn’t failed to notice I had become fickle, I just didn’t care. A week after being fed up I was back online, because I had turned into a dating junkie. I began exchanging emails with Stephen. We emailed each other…

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Chapter 17 Excerpt: Nice Guys Who Finish Last Aren’t Really Nice

Chapter 17 Excerpt: Nice Guys Who Finish Last Aren’t Really Nice

Here’s a little something you need to know if your dating… Nice guys finish last. Never mind that’s a lie. Never mind it’s used to make women feel guilty for rejecting men they shouldn’t waste time on. And never mind my sixth grade English teacher would have a mother fucking heart attack if she found out I use the word nice on a regular basis. I don’t think she would care about the foul language. I’m pretty sure foul language…

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Chapter 16 Excerpt: Heterosexual Men Who Don’t Like Vaginas

Chapter 16 Excerpt: Heterosexual Men Who Don’t Like Vaginas

Here are the first few paragraphs from chapter sixteen of my book Till Delete Do Us Part.             My dad called this morning, something that happens a lot more recently. He wants to know about my health and my relationship status. I told him I’m really healthy. “Sugar, are you walking up to a lot of men on the street and introducing yourself?” I can’t help but laugh. “Seriously, what? Dad no,” I said wondering if we really needed to have…

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Chapter 15 Excerpt: Stupid Reno and the Dangers of Dating a Man You Cannot Understand

Chapter 15 Excerpt: Stupid Reno and the Dangers of Dating a Man You Cannot Understand

I have gone well over a month without a date and I’m torn between relief and a compulsive need to keep trying. No men hit on me when I leave my house so I must be giving off the crazy cat lady vibe. There is a French café by my house where I love to have lunch. There are a lot of men who buy lunch there but they get their food to go. Women, on the other hand, eat…

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